Wishes
by whatthehellwasithinkin
Summary: They both happened to be another set of faces in an endless sea of sorrow set by people who couldn’t care less. But that didn't mean that Lenalee didn't feel pain any less.


Wishes

I don't own DGM. But I do love it XP

This is my take on Lenalee's feeling when she got her Innocence to crystal form.

XxX

Time is a funny thing to consider when one is dying—granted we're all _dying_ it just depends on how fast or how slow and how much sooner or later.

Funny, she always imagined death would be horribly painful, perhaps more brutal. But never had she thought it would come in front of her loved ones. She always thought she'd die away from them, at least to save them some of the pain rather than watching her die in front of their very eyes.

She could hear people shouting above her, her brother's shouts rising above them. Maybe God had finally decided it was time to stop her suffering. After coming so close to it, at the hands of Eshi and later on with Tyki, both inside and outside the Ark, it seemed kind of unfair that now she should die. Now when she was needed by everyone. Now when she was needed the most by her brother.

Death had always been a part of her life, ironic as it may sound to anyone who didn't bother to see past the image of a sixteen year old Chinese girl, but now, right _now_ she wished it would stop just long enough to let her get her brother away, to get Lavi and Kanda away from the akuma.

But she was no fool. She knew that if left alone with that level four and no Innocence was outright suicide. The Black Order was under attack and she knew, as much as it pained her, that her world was slowly crumbling away beneath her feet. Her friends were all trying so hard to help, even if they were still injured or without Innocence.

"_So why can't I?"_

That thought hurt more than not being able to get up and fight, now that her Innocence wasn't responding to her anymore. She couldn't remember a time when she had wanted to be able to wield it again, but there is always a first time for everything, and now more than ever she _wanted_ those forsaken Dark Boots around her feet so she could at least help. So that she didn't feel so helpless.

That cursed level four was coming near again. It really was a miracle it hadn't killed Leverrier—who was still close by, damn him—and had opted to go for Komui instead.

For once, Lenalee felt like praying to that God that she hated so much. For once, she wished he would hear her pleading to give her strength and help her defeat that monster.

Damn it, she'd hit her head harder than she thought. Everything around her was swimming. She could feel that level four's foot on her head.

"Look at me," it said.

She wanted to yell at it, to tell it to rot, but right now she was still too woozy from the last hit she took. She could hear noises above her. Allen had just come in and taken the akuma off her back. Good, that bought her a little time; it gave her a chance to do something, anything rather than sit around and watch as her family was destroyed. Kanda was yelling at her brother. Some things never changed, do they?

She picked herself off the cold ground and crawled towards the Innocence Hevlaska had dropped in front of her after being hit by that level four.

'Innocence,' she thought to herself. In exchange for the ability to protect everyone she would force herself to wield it. She glanced quickly at Allen, his body seemed to be about to give out but he kept on fighting. Pulling herself, she pulled the Innocence closer to herself and finally decided what she would do. If Hevlaska couldn't put it inside her, then she would make a deal. She decided then that it should become as much a part of her as she'd never wished it were, she would become stronger. She had to, because mourning her loved ones was becoming too much already.

"Please, take these feelings and transform them into strength to protect everybody. If you do that…I will follow you."

'But you have to promise, at the end you must let me return to my brother's side,' she said her silent prayer and looked up to see her brother starring at her with an expression she couldn't name properly, but was sure she felt inside too. She smiled at him hoping to assure him in some way, in any way, that it would all be alright.

"I'm off then."She lowered her lips to the Innocence as her brother started to cry in astonishment. Both of them knew that sacrifices were made in war, as heart-wrenching as they were. They both happened to be another set of faces in an endless sea of sorrow set by people who couldn't care less.

In the end, all she wanted was to be with her brother. For him to say "Be safe" and to be able to smile as she did before and say to him in a hug "I'm home again."

XxX

Okay, so hopefully that wasn't as big a fail as I think (it probably is, no?). Tell me what you think? I know it's a lot of angst, but meh, it's the only thing that comes easily to me ftw T.T


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